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Botox Spill Leaves Street Looking 10 Years Younger

April 8, 2012

Botox Spill Los Angeles

CENTURY CITY—Last Tuesday, a tanker truck heading to Century City accidentally leaked 300 gallons of Botox onto Beverly Blvd. After the Botox spill occurred, both the truck's driver and the fire department witnessed a strange phenomenon: the cement suddenly took on a smooth, tight, yet slightly waxy appearance, which appealed to many L.A. commuters.

"I can't remember the last time Beverly Blvd. looked this good," said Fire Chief Sean Conroy, as he high-fived the driver.

Since the spill occurred, the street has seen an increase in traffic by 130%. During rush hour, cars have lined up from as far as Van Nuys for a chance to ride on Beverly Blvd.

"I’m not sure why I never payed much attention to this street before," said Dale Hersch, 42. "One thing's for sure - I'm never taking my old route again."

Another commuter stated, "My car glides with ease on this smooth surface. I barely have to tap the accelerator … the street does all the work."

After noticing the city's high praise for the effects of the Botox on Beverly Blvd., Los Angeles Mayor, Antonio Villaraigosa ordered the chemical substance to be poured on every L.A. street.

Villaraigosa proclaimed, "After we're done spilling Botox on every street, we will move to phase two: enlarging all the speed bumps and narrowing each lane by a few inches."

However, not everyone is content with Villaraigosa’s decision. A small group of angry protesters have been showing up at every Botox pouring event, demanding that the streets of L.A. be left alone.

One protester asked, "Doesn't anyone else have a problem with every street in Los Angeles having the same appearance? Pretty soon we won’t be able to recognize the city. So what if the cement has a few cracks or crevices? It adds character."

He added, "If I wanted to live in a town with absolutely no character whatsoever, I would have moved to Porter Ranch."

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