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Panorama City Street Gang Fails To Agree On Official Gang Color

April 1, 2012

Panorama City Gang

Hector Chavez and Brandon Johnson disagree on gang color.

PANORAMA CITY—Tension mounts, as today marks the 11th day that leaders of the newly formed Panorama City street gang known as "Los Lobos" have failed to come to an agreement on their official gang color.

As a result, the gang's typical illegal activities have halted, while its leaders form a joint session to discuss the color choice.

"This is a huge decision for us. I don't want to rush it," said Hector Chavez, 17. "A gang's official color is a direct reflection of what a gang stands for ... which in our case is theft and excessive violence."

Chavez has prepared a 30-page memo, along with a PowerPoint proposal detailing why the color he chose would be best suited for the gang. Unfortunately for Chavez, the lengthy memo received much scrutiny from younger, more liberal members of the gang. Members like Brandon Johnson, 16, feel that time is of the essence, and every day spent discussing the color delays precious criminal activity time.

"This is absolutely ridiculous, we don't have time to read and discuss every provision of the memo," said Jonhson. "We could be stealing car stereos on Cedros Avenue right now, but instead we're doing regression analysis in Excel to determine the benefits of picking amber over orange."

"Sure, we could spend weeks looking at color swatches and voting on each shade, but let's just pick one already for the sake of time. We can't afford to make perfect the enemy of the absolutely necessary," added Johnson.

According to Johnson, if the gang fails to reach a decision by April 15th, they could lose the funding they usually acquire by spending weeknights breaking into vending machines.

"It's a shame," said Nancy Bautista, 15. "I'd expect this type of divisiveness from Congress, but not from a well-organized group like Los Lobos."

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{ 1 comment }

emmanuel December 22, 2012 at 11:15 am

is this suppose to be some damn joke?? i dont know if you know this but los lobos is a real familia.lobo crazy from the 413!!! fighting on colors really,red and black.

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