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Malibu Woman Sentenced To Life In The Valley

May 14, 2012

Malibu Woman San Fernando Valley

Bethany Wilcox weeps at the thought of living in The Valley.

MALIBU–Today at the Malibu Courthouse, Bethany Wilcox was sentenced to live the remainder of her life in the San Fernando Valley—which is the harshest punishment allowed in the state of California.

Wilcox, 44, was in tears when Judge Eric Reinhorn announced that, as a consequence of tax evasion, she'll have to reside in a one bedroom apartment on the corner of Devonshire and Balboa in Granada Hills.

"Put me in prison instead!" pleaded Wilcox, who has never lived north of Ventura Blvd.

Residing in Granada Hills will force Wilcox to drive 15 miles to find a decent place to eat.

"It's not fair," cried Wilcox. "There's no gluten-free restaurants in The Valley."

She'll also have to endure temperatures of over 100 degrees during the summer.

Granada Hills Apartment

Wilcox sentenced to live in Granada Hills apartment

"Please, not during the summer too!" begged Wilcox. "The Valley smells even worse when it heats up."

Additionally, the sentence requires Wilcox to change her area code from 310 to 818.

"This punishment is inhumane!" shouted Wilcox, as she sent a final text message with her 310 phone number.

Finally, Reinhorn declared that during the day, Wilcox is required to work an eight-hour shift at La Curacao in the Panorama City Mall.

"Are you kidding?" asked Wilcox. "The Panorama Mall doesn't even have a Nordstrom," she added, while the bailiff prevented her from choking herself with her Dolce & Gabbana belt.

As Wilcox was escorted out of the courtroom, Reinhorn stated that good behavior will reduce her sentence to living on the southern border of Sherman Oaks.

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{ 1 comment }

the other beth wilcox July 23, 2012 at 7:37 am

Do not confuse this woman with elizabeth wilcox-davidson, grandaughter of wayne and helen wilcox.

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